My husband and I found out we were pregnant the first time in November of 2017. Almost 6 months of marriage and we were finding out we were pregnant, it was the greatest news. Unfortunately, at 9 weeks, we lost our baby. Our marriage took a turn for the worst shortly after that. I didn’t face the sadness, I didn’t grieve after losing my first baby. I tried to act like I was okay and that everything happens for a reason.. My husband had to grieve alone, and for that, I will never forgive myself. A few months later, after a wake-up call & a long talk with my pastor.. Our marriage was slowly going back to normal. God knew I needed that man and I prayed everyday for forgiveness and trust from my husband again. In July 2018 we took a trip to Myrtle Beach for our “honeymoon”, since we didn’t really have one after our wedding. I was ovulating that entire week, I thought it was meant to be. My husband wasn’t on board at first, I’m sure he was still hurting, but he was ready and so we started trying. It was funny because we played “rock, paper, scissors” everyday and if I won, we could try that day, haha. We ended up getting pregnant a little over a month later and were due at the end of April. My pregnancy was great. I had no morning sickness, barely anything to complain about. We found out we were having a little boy and our hearts busted at the seams! April came and went, no sign of our babe. I stayed at 1cm for two weeks and my doctor decided to induce my one day shy of 41 weeks. I was in labor for 22 hours. I had to have a cervical balloon placed at the beginning to help me dilate. It was so painful for him to place and uncomfortable the entire time after that. I dilated to 4cm and the balloon came out. Then it was a waiting game. 5cm came, stayed. Then 8cm came, stayed. They had to put me in all different kinds of positions to try to dilate me and it was so, so painful. My epidural wore off twice and I was miserable, crying, sweating from being in pain. I kept apologizing to the nurses and my husband because I said I didn’t want to be “that mom” who was screaming in the delivery room. I told my husband multiple times to tell them I wanted a c-section, that I couldn’t do it anymore, I couldn’t handle the pain. He was so amazing throughout the entire process and I know I couldn’t have done it without him. It finally came time to push and I was so scared, but I barely felt a thing by that point. The only thing I really remember feeling was his head being half way out before my last push. After an hour and a half of pushing and a mediolateral episiotomy, my baby boy was here. 6:26am, 8lbs 7oz & 19in long. He was perfect. It was all so worth it. I look back now and see that I didn’t have it as bad as most women I know and for that I am very grateful.