• Kati Terek

-Lex Luther


Where do I begin? Ever since I was a little girl, I always knew I wanted to be a mother. Growing up into adulthood, I obviously started to think about it even more. “What would it be like to have a baby?” On August 25, 2018, a positive pregnancy test confirmed that I was about to live out my dream of becoming a mom. I started following birth and labor blogs and pages, trying to figure out how I wanted my birth to go. “What would my birth plan be?” Fast forward. At 33 weeks we got a 4D ultrasound. “Your little one didn’t turn yet so we’re having trouble getting a good picture.” I didn’t think much of that statement. Surely we had more time for her to turn. We went back two weeks later for another try at getting a good 4D picture of her. “Hmmm she still hasn’t turned, you should probably bring this up at the next appointment.” Again, didn’t think much of it. At my 36 week appointment I brought up that she might be breeched. My doctor felt around and she felt her head up by my rib. “Yup that’s her head up there so that means you might be looking at a C section.” A C section!? I haven’t put much thought into that option. I’ve spent the past 8-9 months picturing a vaginal birth. That’s all that I prepared for. “She has time to turn though right?” I asked the doctor. The doctor half smiled and shook her head and stated that only 5% of babies aren’t turned at this point and it is highly unlikely. She stated I would be scheduling a C section for my 39th week. I was internally panicking. On the outside I was trying to remain calm but no one wants to be cut open while being awake! I went home and looked up every C section vlog I could find on YouTube. I researched both the good and the horror stories associated with C sections. There was plenty of both. On Monday April 15, I went to get my ultrasound to officially confirm that she was breeched. My mother was with me since my husband had to be at work. The techs were taking their time doing the ultrasound and they had a look on their face that made me want to question, “is everything ok?” The techs smiled and said that she was perfectly healthy but that her amniotic fluid was really low. I had no clue what that meant. The one tech looked at my mom and I and simply stated, “you might be having this baby sooner-like today or tomorrow.” WAIT WHAT!? I was only 37 weeks pregnant! which I understand isn’t that early at all but being first time mommy with nothing prepared at all, was mind boggling to me. I literally had my baby shower two days prior and nothing was unpacked. They sent me upstairs to see my doctor. They performed a stress test to confirm that she was perfectly healthy in which she was. My doctor came in smiling and laughing asking, “how would you like to have your baby tomorrow?” “Ok then let’s do it” I answered. The doctor explained that the amniotic fluid was pretty low and she didn’t want to risk waiting it out for a few more weeks. We scheduled the C section for the following morning, April 16 2019. On the rush to Target to buy everything that we needed, which was pretty much half of Targets newborn section, I talked to my husband. “Sooo we’re having a baby tomorrow” my husband laughed and answered “wait what!?”. We spent the rest of the night eating Chinese food and setting up the nursery with his parents. I was running on adrenaline at this point. On Monday the 16, I woke up so nervous. I asked God for some sort of good sign. The sunrise was a beautiful pink that stretched across the sky. That was the sign that I needed as excitement started to rise up. We met both of our parents and my aunt who worked at the hospital in the lobby. We were all excited. On the maternity ward, they strapped me to to all of the machines and gave me my IV. Another couple was across from us. She was scheduled to have her C section before mine and I remember feeling nervous for her as they took her away. Every horror story I read about started creeping in my mind and I started to cry. I was so nervous. My husband was excited, dressed in his scrubs and I remember feeling bad that I wasn’t feeling AS excited because of my nerves. Finally it was my turn to go back. Both parents hugged and kissed us goodbye. As I walked back, I vaguely remember the small talk the team was attempting to have with me. “What’s the name going to be?” “Oh Elena is a beautiful name.” There was more talk but I completely blanked on it. The hallway seemed to be so long and never ending. At the door, they told me that my husband had to stay outside until everything was ready to go. My husband hugged and kissed me and I went inside. The surgical room was so bright and cold. I instantly started to cry. The nurse came up to me and put both hands on my shoulder, reassuring me that everything was going to be ok. She told me to look out the window at the beautiful morning and we joked in between my tears about how, for once, PIttsburgh had a sunny morning.  It was time to do the epidural and spinal. I looked at the door where my husband was. And there he was. Peaking through the blinds. I remember cracking up and feeling so much better that I could still see him. I remember wishing that I could play my labor playlist (which I spent months preparing). One of the songs I put on my playlist from Stevie Nicks was actually playing in the room. It comforted me. I was so nervous to get the epidural and spinal. It turned out that my IV was more painful! The weirdest part was slowly feeling my legs go motionless. The team laid me on my back and started getting everything set up. They put the blue curtain up and the nerves set back in. I heard them starting to count everything and i panicked thinking that they forgot about my husband and were starting without him. I screamed, “wait where’s my husband!?” The doctor laughed and stated not to worry they were just going over everything. Finally that let my husband in. The doctor asked if I could feel anything, any pain. I answered no pain, although I could feel movement. She answered that is normal and not to worry. So the procedure started. My husband held my hand and reassured me that everything is going to be ok. He watched the entire procedure as I watched  his facial expressions. “I know what your insides look like!” He laughed. For some reason, that made me laugh because of how ridiculous it sounded! I thought he was going to pass out but instead it seemed to have an opposite effect on him. I, of course, was trying to distract myself from the thought that I felt like an open purse that someone was juggling their hands in trying to find lost keys...Finally, after about ten minutes I heard the doctor say, “here’s the little peanut!” I saw my husbands face and realized she must be out. I’ll never forget his eyes. There was no cry and I could see my husband getting worried. About twelve second later we hear, “she’s peeing!” Followed by the cutest newborn cry. I instantly started crying. I felt so relieved to hear her cry. They brought her around the curtain with her crying and it was the cutest sight I have ever seen. My husband went over to see them clean her, get her weight, etc. and I forgot I was still in the middle of surgery. That was until I heard my lovely husband ask, “what organ is that!?” “The placenta” someone answered...at that point nothing could freak me out. I just gave birth to a beautiful and healthy baby girl and I couldn’t be happier. My husband came back around the curtain. I asked him how she was and what she looked like. “He answered that she was perfect and beautiful.” Finally they brought her around and my husband held her. I couldn’t believe it. That baby was actually mine! I remember talking to her. It was so amazing. The feeling of seeing my baby for the first time was unexplainable. Imagining being a kid in a candy store, at Disney World, on Christmas Day, and multiple it by 1 million. Yes, I didn’t plan or choose to have a c section, but this procedure brought my daughter into this world happy and healthy and I wouldn’t do it any other way. I hope that my story helps any mother that just found out that a c section was the only option. Yes things don’t always go as planned, but the end result is so worth it. And the procedure actually was not bad at all!

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