My third & final baby
Updated: Jun 26, 2019
I’ve been through four pregnancies total in my lifetime. I had my son when I was 20, a miscarriage when I was 25, my daughter when I was 27 and finally my second son at 29.
My pregnancy and labor with my son, my first born and the one who taught me the motherhood ropes was completely different and from what I know now that it went pretty normal. My membranes ruptured on my due date and I was induced. Everything went as expected and he was and still is the sweetest little man.
The baby we lost made it to almost 12 weeks before we found out there was no heartbeat and if you have experienced that type of loss you know there is no easy way get through a D&C. I felt like a piece of my heart had been removed right along with my sweet angel.
My third pregnancy, my babydoll oh my goodness she was a tough one!! My husband had just moved out of town almost two hours away from our hometown for his job and I was almost 8 months into my pregnancy. I switched doctors to our new area and there really wasn’t much to choose from because it was a very small town. My new doctor seemed to be great. I went into labor Valentine’s Day morning just a few days earlier than my due date. I went in and they monitored me, gave me strong pain medicine and told me they were going to induce me. We were excited! About 8 hours they came back in and my contractions had slowed down and they told me they were sending me home. I looked at the doctor and told her she would be seeing me again that day and that I knew I was in labor. She disagreed and told me she would see me at my appointment that next week. My husband and I went home and took a nap for about an hour or two. I woke up and holly crap I was in LABOR. Contractions were excruciating and I could barley walk. We went back up to the hospital and the look on her face of shock you couldn’t mistake as I was wheeled in a wheelchair . I had progressed to 5cm from 2cm. The anesthesiologists came in and I was so relieved. They read you the 5% chance of the epidural not working disclosure and I was like yeah ok just get this thing going. So he did. He pushed too far the first time and pulled it out to retry. Second attempt, pushed too far again but didn’t realize it until I started panicking that it felt crackling noises in my head. He pulled back out and then told me I was that 5% chance and he couldn’t attempt it again. I was prepared for that, we went prepared for that. I was never so scared in my life. I suffered instant cranial migraines, couldn’t sit up without my head pounding, couldn’t walk, couldn’t see straight and it was misery. But it came time to push and our baby had gotten stuck and I had nurses on top of me pushing her from the outside of my stomach to help get her out. SHE WAS OUT!!!! The absolute worst experience but I got her here and safely. No one offered me a blood patch after I had been there for over four days until the last day as we were leaving it was brought up and at that point a new anesthesiologists told me basically I wasn’t as important or high priority on his list that day and I thought my husband was going punch him. My nurses were incredibly apologetic of what they had just heard him say to me knowing what I had been through and at one point we heard one of them telling him off and demanding he come back in and apologize. He did and offered the blood patch but I told him there was no chance I am trusting him or another person near my spine and I will heal on my own. I did in a couple months but it was a long couple of months with my newborn, baby blues and trying desperately to breastfeed and it just didn’t work. It took me awhile to open up about her birth because it was traumatizing but when I look her thriving and loving life I just can’t help but to think it was all worth it.
My fourth pregnancy, my sweet little peanut. My labor began at 38 weeks with him. I found out I had thrombocytopenia. Didn’t think it was anything too serious when they called me about it. I then went to an unplanned check up with my doctor due to pressure and pain he explained it thoroughly. The only thing that he said out of everything was that if my platelet levels kept dropping than I wouldn’t be able to get an epidural but at that time I was close to my induction date and they weren’t worried and they were ok enough that I could. Well I’ll be damned the day I go into labor and they get me hooked up and check my levels had dropped down in the low 60’s ( normal is 140’s and up ) and the anesthesiologists came in and told me he would not give me one and explained the risks. I covered my face and just cried as my husband just looked at him and I in disbelief that this nightmare was happening all over again unplanned and not how we expected. Over the next several hours my doctor kept checking me and let me progress naturally all night into the next morning to try and save me any unnecessary pain for a long period of time from the pitocin. After laying there all night crying and feeling sick to my stomach and scared I finally agreed( because my husband forced me lol ) around 5:30 am to get pitocin and around noon I had progressed to an 8 and they broke my water. I was so scared to start an unnatural process to feel the pain so much stronger but it had to be done. It was time to push not long after my water had been broken thankfully. Our baby was face up and he kept getting stuck making his way out. Everytime I thought he was almost out he kept going back in because of being face up and not down. I felt every second of it. I pushed so hard and used so much force to get him out I could my muscles the next day had been strained everywhere including my neck. He was finally out after 15-20 min and I just cried and cried. He was so sweet and we were so lucky because we found out his cord has been in a knot. So here we are today two weeks postpartum. I’m hurting in places I didn’t think were possible to hurt in, I walk funny, I’m wearing an adult pull up and I can’t sit on hard surfaces. I’m giving myself time to heal but it’s so much deeper than that. More than likely this will be our last baby and the thought of that hurts but the thought of putting my body through this again just doesn’t feel possible.
Those are my birth stories & I hope some of you can find peace and hope in knowing we are in this motherhood together.